Sometimes when I'm with a group of people, I try to imagine how different the moment would feel if I were alone. I thought about that a lot while driving across the country. I like to be with other people in a beautiful place when no one is exclaiming how beautiful it is, we're all just silently thinking our own thoughts. I once watched my friend's face as he watched a movie. He didn't notice me looking at him, and his face clearly showed what he was thinking. I think I liked him so much more after seeing how deeply the movie affected him. I can't even remember what movie it was now. I just remember the look on my friend's face. Maybe this is why I am so drawn to the Quakers. I like sitting in a meeting house packed full of people sitting in silence. I like the idea of all those unspoken thoughts being thought in one room. Sometimes New York is a hard place for me because nothing feels quiet or secret or subtle. The stereotypical New Yorker is loud and brazen and rushed. I tried to escape the noise of the city once by going in an art museum. But everyone inside was yelling, "I lo-ove this!" "I hate this one!" "Oh, this is cute, honey. LOOK!" and I just felt defeated. It's not that I don't like people. And it's not that I don't often verbalize thoughts that are obvious or boring. I think I just need to spend more time in libraries.